VH1 Pickup Artist 2 Casting

So I went salsa dancing tonight... or at least that was the plan.

I don't think I've mentioned it here before, but I have a fondness for dancing. Particularly salsa dancing. And before my friend John moved, I went out and did it pretty often. I always had a good time. No exceptions.

Well, tonight, I decided it was time to get back on my feet and go do it. I had been a recluse since the end of January, because of allergies, poor health (unusual for me), and a really bad sprained ankle. But I decided tonight was the night. I was in perfect health, bored at home, and a friend of mine wanted to go. I was going to see how terrible I could possibly be after three months of not dancing.

The original plan was to meet her there, but she couldn't make it. So I called up one of my buddies, and he couldn't make it either. I was going to have to either forget it, or go alone. I made the wrong choice.

My mom bought me some new dress shoes today that I had my eye for several weeks, and they finally went on sale. I thought, "cool, what a great way to break them in, I'll wear them tonight." So I put the shoes on, and got ready to go out.

I was honestly terrified. I'm going to have to blame some of it on rewatching last season's first episode of PUA, but that wasn't the whole cause. A lot of it was just nerves. A lot of it was due to a complete lack of confidence in myself as of late. But a whole lot of it was fear brought on from going alone.

But I got in the car, and drove to the club/restaurant at about 10:45. I paid my cover, and walked in. I started scoping the entire area. I looked for familiar faces, faces I wanted to know, faces I didn't care to know, etc. I walked around and got a good eye full. I actually saw a female friend at the bar, said hi, and she introduced me to a few male friends of hers. Typical of me, I didn't have much interest in the male friends, I was hoping they'd be girls. Oh well, big deal. Plenty of girls in here. It's loud and I didn't have much interest in chit-chatting anyway. I came to dance.

So I walked around a bit more, watched some of the dancers, and tried to get acclimated to my surroundings. I found a spot near the dance floor and tried to calm my nerves; tried to remember my dance steps; and tried to feel the music. The music was bad tonight. I wasn't feeling it. Not a good sign.

I disappointedly/smugly commented to the guy next to me that the girls there tonight didn't look like they had the slightest idea how to salsa. So I didn't get on the floor. I stood and watched for another song, and then the band went on their break, and the DJ went to work. The music was awful to dance to. Usually it's a mix of hip hop, tired techno, and the same 'ole Spanish songs I can't decipher the words in. This time, it was pretty much the same, except even the hip hop was difficult to find a beat in. A large group of about eight girls with two or three guys form a circle. I watch them for a bit and decide it's time to make my move. I jump into the circle and show off some random moves to the beat of the music, and they hoot and holler. I move my way out of the middle and into the perimeter. I dance there awhile and realize nobody else is "showing off" in the center, so I start signaling to some of the girls to take their turn showing off. Some didn't take their turn. Evidently I chose the low self-esteem or "let's play it safe" circle. I lightly pushed one of the guys to take a turn and he at least had fun with it. Another guy took a turn as well, and the group's humor/enjoyment was slightly better. Some of the girls started doing some of the cheesy moves like the sprinkler, so I decided to get in the middle and do the robot to see if it improves the mood. It does... and everyone gets slightly less uptight. But that's when the music turned to crap...

I don't know what the DJ was thinking, but that song was utterly awful. It was significantly too slow, and lacked a latin beat I was familiar with. It was too slow for salsa, and that's something I don't know how to deal with. I looked around, and no other men looked like they knew what to do either. Not even the hispanic guys who salsa so well they look like pros. We were all in a circle still and I started introducing the basic salsa step into my moves. As I did this, I began to discover that my shoes weren't good for that type of dancing... In case you aren't familiar, salsa involves many small steps. You essentially don't change place unless you are spinning or relocating the girl you're dancing with.

I learned how to salsa by watching youtube, so maybe you shouldn't take my word for it...

Anyway, I was doing these moves and was not having an easy time. The shoes I had just gotten were pointed (thus longer), making my already large feet clumsy. I didn't consider that before going out. To add to that difficulty, I was 3 months out of practice. You don't forget the robot, because your feet hardly move. However, you will forget how to salsa, because the majority of it is footwork, and if you don't get the pauses correct and shift your weight properly, you just simply can't do it right.

The circle starts disbanding, and the same horrible song starts changing to an equally horrible, yet faster song. They're still doing funny dance moves, so I start doing my *favorite* funny dance move; the lasso. At this time, my bracelet's spring-loaded clasp comes undone, and my bracelet falls off and breaks the mechanism that closes it... never to be found again. AKA the pin flew out when it hit the ground, shot the spring somewhere, and the closing "ball" that snapped into place disappeared. -_-

I'm tired of just dancing by myself, so I ask the girl next to me in the disbanded circle if she knew how to salsa, and she signaled "a little." Bad sign. I needed someone good to help me "ride a bike again," and I paired myself up with someone who needed me to teach her moves.

I do a horrible job of it, because I can't get into the proper steps myself, much less get her in sync with me. I was just plainly too out of practice and my shoes weren't doing me any favors. After awhile, I got tired of dancing with her and start making up moves again since the song is now some other unmemorable Spanish rap song with a poor beat. As I learned from watching PUA season 1, I slowly started "losing value," yet this girl had done the same in my eyes as well. I started looking around and over her head because I'm not interested in her, and I'm looking for someone better, or just a way to escape. One of the girl's friends eventually comes over and "saves her" from me. This is a common act girls will do for each other. What they didn't know is I just didn't have anybody to save me, and that damn song would never end.

I go to the bathroom to blot my forehead and come back out to go on the prowl further. I reached into my pocket and discovered that my bracelet didn't just fall off as I had originally thought; it had broken and lost the piece that closed it. So I went back to the dance floor and hunted it down. On my way off the dance floor, I ran into the girl I had been dancing with. I didn't want to be rude, so I asked if she wanted to dance again. She said that her friends and her were actually all leaving because some of them had to be up at 7. In retrospect, that's probably what the girl was telling her when I thought she was being "saved." Oh well, I didn't want to dance with her again anyway, so I moved on and went on the prowl.

The place wasn't exactly jam packed, and there were more guys than girls. I scoped for what seemed an eternity, as if I was looking for someone, and again, I realized I was losing "value" every minute I did this. I was wallflowering without a wall behind me, and I didn't have a drink in my hand to sip, so I just looked like a chump. It was inevitable. I just simply didn't know what to do. There were no good looking girls looking interested in dancing who were not already dancing.

The girl I had been dancing with before was now leaving, and I waited to see if she'd say anything to me as she walked right by me. I avoided eye contact. She said nothing. Okay, no problem there, fine.

I started getting fed up with this wallflowering and walked over to a group of three women dancing. As I got into speaking range, and asked one to dance, I realized she was much older than me. Didn't matter to me, but she rejected me anyway. I get in range of her other okay looking friend and ask her, and yet again, I get rejected by a much older woman. I must need my eyes tested, or need to carry a flashlight.

I walked back to my "perch" for a moment, and then headed towards a group of four decent/good looking college girls, and asked them, collectively, if any of them wanted to dance. Rejected by all. Gee. Thanks. I at least expected the one I saw dancing earlier to accept my offer.

These girls had likely/definitely seen me wallflowering all that time, and showing no interest towards them. Sadly, it wasn't so much no interest towards them at the time, it was no interest towards the awful song, nor any faith that I had regained my dancing ability. Oh well. In retrospect, I personally saw no other solutions available.

I walked over to the bar and asked if they charged for water. He said something four times and I could never hear him until the last time when I heard $3. I told him to forget it, and walked off.

After an hour and a half being there, I danced with one girl, poorly, and was rejected by six girls/women in a row. A new personal best... *cough* worst.

If only I knew what to say to start a conversation, I probably would have done much better. I may be a very talkative, energetic, entertaining guy, but that's only when I know someone and they know me. I don't make friends easily, and obviously I don't know how to introduce myself... Sheesh... what a bad night.

Even worse... because this took me an hour and a half to type, and I enjoyed typing it much more than the hour and a half I spent "dancing." -____-

If this actually gets read and someone comments on it. Perhaps I'll tell about my worst night ever at a club.